Social Anxiety? Please help!?
ByHi im 17 and have been going through social anxiety for a few years until its gotten to the stage where i just never go out anymore and just feeling really depressed :(. I’m seeing a psychologist about it now but im not sure if it will ever change im just really scared im going to be like this my whole life and feel really lonely and left out while everyone i know moves out of their home gets thei own life and ill just be some loner. Is it normal to feel angry at the world when you isolate yourself? I feel like im becoming some freak i always stay home n look at peoples facebooks and feel 100 times worse. I feel a lot worse when im at school and i just never feel compfortable outside.
Does anyone else go through this? And you think it will ever change or will i be upset forever? Thanks
Eh i go through the same thing. I am 18 now had it since 14 years old. i am slowly changing i use to be so bad id just play a game to keep me from being in the real world. I got so bad at one stage i basically lost all contact with my friends. I use to know everyone at school then it came down to knowing 1. So i left school it affected me so bad. OK now for you.. You will change but it doesn’t always come easy. You will feel low when you go out but after awhile you learn to adjust. Try keep going out dont be sitting home dont lose your friends like i did. Idk if you will be ”happy” any time soon it all takes time.
Oh hey write down your feelings what you went through your life and what makes you sad trust me i did it yesterday. Don’t try to make it perfect just how you feel it makes you feel so much more better all sadness and anger feels gone for time being.
( i have many more issues rather then just social anxiety so idk if writing it down will make you feel better but it might, Give it a try)
7 Comments
April 29th, 2010 at 5:46 pm
And the day came
When the risk to remain
Tight in a bud
Was more painful
Than the risk it took
To blossom
-Anais Nin (with thanks to Jo Werther, LCSW for sharing this), &
“You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore”
- Christopher Columbus
View http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_30.html and page 1 about social anxiety.
EXPECT to be uncomfortable, but resolve that you will persist, and get used to it by degrees, until it doesn’t bother you so much.
Depression is addressed on pages 3, & B. Dr. J. Cannell, at http://vitaminDcouncil.org is now recommending 10,000 iu of vitamin D3, ( NOT VITAMIN D2! ) daily, for depressed people.
The Vitamin D Newsletter
April 21, 2010
More letters
"Vitamin D deficiency is but one cause of major depression; there are lots of others. However, I now recommend that anyone struggling with depression should take at least 10,000 IU /day with frequent 25(OH)D blood tests to assure levels of at least 100 ng/ml and to monitor for toxicity".
He advises that the cofactors required for optimal absorption and utilisation are good levels of magnesium, zinc, boron, and vitamin K2.
59% of Americans are deficient in vitamin D3. Those with the lowest levels are 11 times more likely to be depressed (www.mercola.com).
A deficiency in calcium can also cause depression; vitamin D3 is needed so it is utilised, and good levels of magnesium ensures it is deposited on bones, (preferably with some weight bearing exercise) where it belongs, rather than in blood vessels.
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April 29th, 2010 at 6:12 pm
Eh i go through the same thing. I am 18 now had it since 14 years old. i am slowly changing i use to be so bad id just play a game to keep me from being in the real world. I got so bad at one stage i basically lost all contact with my friends. I use to know everyone at school then it came down to knowing 1. So i left school it affected me so bad. OK now for you.. You will change but it doesn’t always come easy. You will feel low when you go out but after awhile you learn to adjust. Try keep going out dont be sitting home dont lose your friends like i did. Idk if you will be ”happy” any time soon it all takes time.
Oh hey write down your feelings what you went through your life and what makes you sad trust me i did it yesterday. Don’t try to make it perfect just how you feel it makes you feel so much more better all sadness and anger feels gone for time being.
( i have many more issues rather then just social anxiety so idk if writing it down will make you feel better but it might, Give it a try)
References :
April 29th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
Hi Jason-
It might be time to change your psychologists if you have been going for awhile and are not moving in a positive direction. If you are kinda new to therapy and feel comfortable with your psychologist then it should be easy for you to say what you have asked here (write it down) give extra attention to what the therapist says when you ask him for direct input. Try to focus on this one issue at your next appointment and work out the problem of negative self talk. Let him know you are really feeling depressed over isolating yourself and ask for his counseling. I feel that a good psychologist should do counseling along with therapy.
Yes, if you isolate yourself because of depression,you’ll feel worse. You feel like you are alone with this problem,but you are really not. Unfortunately,many teens feel like you do. You won’t feel like this forever,promise. High school can be crappy,college is better.There will be more activities and new,"more mature" lol people to meet. Go to a gym, take a karate class,krav maga etc. and meet new people. Try 1 new thing each week. Talk to 1 new person (casually) each day. (Try this experiment)–Make brief eye contact with someone at school and smile- people can’t help but smile back. It’s just an experiment but it might be funny for you to count how many times it works. It can be a little distraction from feeling depressed.
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April 29th, 2010 at 6:56 pm
can’t say i know it’ll last forever, but i can say i go through the same thing.
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April 29th, 2010 at 7:38 pm
Yes I have had it for years and been through therapy and various meds. I am 24 and this started when I was 15 or so.
I find medication helps. Go on an SSRI or a beta blocker.
I think you can improve with therapy… but without meds it might be with you for a long time. I have found over the years it is worse at times, better at other times but is always there. I am planning to stay on medication for the foreseeable future.
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April 29th, 2010 at 8:18 pm
Suffering from this disorder myself, I know exactly how you feel! It took me 3 years to build up the courage just to make an appointment with a psychologist about it, so I commend you for being able to make that initial step! It is important to remember that psychology, especially for a disorder like social phobia, is not a cure or a "quick fix". It takes time and effort. Taking small steps in terms of social situations will help you feel more comfortable in those situations, and will hopefully begin to generalise across other situations too. You may never be the loud, outspoken, life of the party, but that does not mean that you cannot live a happy life as a shy person.
People with social phobia often feel isolated, so it is important that you don’t isolate yourself. If you have someone you trust and feel pretty comfortable with, it might help you to confide in them about how you feel, and that way they can support you when you go out into social situations.
Just remember that you are not alone! There are plenty of online support groups for social phobia, where you can befriend other people with the disorder, get advice, and no feel quite so alone.
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April 29th, 2010 at 8:32 pm
im just like you. I had to drop out of college because of social anxiety, i only have one friend who i rarely see, i have never had an intimate relationship and don’t think i will ever be able to, i cant talk to strangers on the phone and i rarely leave the house, i am unable to get a job due to my anxiety and i am really depressed. I find it hard to talk to my psychiatrist and don’t think i will ever be able to initiate a conversation with her. i just don’t think i will ever change. I have the same fear as you, that i will be like this for the rest of my life, and die a lonely old women with a stinking house and 40 cats. My body will sit in my chair rotting for 2 months before discovery. I hope i can change but im not optimistic. I hope you can change too x
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