HELP, social anxiety and dating need advice?
ByIm freaking out! This guy who seems like a really nice guy but i dont know that well has been talking to me over facebook and has asked me on a few dates but i always say no, and postpone i can tell hes getting over being rejected ( i dont blame him) and tomorrow were meant to be hanging out but im already thinking of ways to avoid it PLAN A hide in my bed hahah but seriously im freaking outtttttt
I dont want to go but i do like if i wasnt so anxious i would happily go, ive lost so many chances with good guys because of my anxiety, I dont want to lose another one 
I worried about
1. I go and feel ready sick, act weird looking nervous cause im anixous about feeling sick and want to go home so he would think im weird
2. I put myself out there and because of being so nervous he doesnt like or he just doesnt like me adn i get rejected and hurt.
3. He thinks im really ugly
4. Oh and i just got a expander in my mouth so its kind of making me talk weird (just what i need)
5. I just have a really bad awkward time and look at the time freaking out the whole time..
Omg im so not going to go and ill be single forever,
SOMEONE HELP ME IM DOOMING MYSELF
Hey girl, we NEED to be friends. Wanna add me on Facebook? I’m exactly like you, I’d love to chat to you and share experiences..
I know exactly how you feel. I have social anxiety disorder too and trying to get into the dating game. I’ve been on a couple of dates recently and had to drink vodka beforehand cos I was so nervous.. I always overthink what people might be thinking about me.. but I’m trying to get over it. I joined a dating site yesterday and thought I was being brave and impulsive but I am rejecting most people out of fear, yet again..
But this guy LIKES you, go for it! DO NOT waste your life, I know how hard it is, believe me, and how easy it is to give advice and not take your own advice, but please, give it a shot, feel the fear and do it anyway. I’d love to hear how it goes. And PLEASE add me on Facebook, message me your name or email and we should definitely talk.
5 Comments
February 2nd, 2012 at 4:44 am
just sit down and relax, the best thing you can do is be yourself and for want of a better term "go to your happy place" just keep cool and dont try to do the whole "going out of your way to impress people" just be yourself and if he likes he likes, if not then move on
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February 2nd, 2012 at 5:01 am
take your time in explaining what is going in mouth/you to self concise about your self/ you have to going for your self and god lovs you/ take breath /relax / i had one too in mouth and had to talk differently for a while/i hit up with a woman and we aer still together for a year now
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February 2nd, 2012 at 5:29 am
Hey girl, we NEED to be friends. Wanna add me on Facebook? I’m exactly like you, I’d love to chat to you and share experiences..
I know exactly how you feel. I have social anxiety disorder too and trying to get into the dating game. I’ve been on a couple of dates recently and had to drink vodka beforehand cos I was so nervous.. I always overthink what people might be thinking about me.. but I’m trying to get over it. I joined a dating site yesterday and thought I was being brave and impulsive but I am rejecting most people out of fear, yet again..
But this guy LIKES you, go for it! DO NOT waste your life, I know how hard it is, believe me, and how easy it is to give advice and not take your own advice, but please, give it a shot, feel the fear and do it anyway. I’d love to hear how it goes. And PLEASE add me on Facebook, message me your name or email and we should definitely talk.
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Me
February 2nd, 2012 at 5:38 am
calm down already! in this day and age lots of ppl are meeting one another though facebook. use caution though. trust your instincts. PLEASE stop feeling so badly about yourself. you are having feelings and already projecting those thoughts and feelings on him. for all you know he may be going through the same thing that you are going through!! give it a try…it might work BUT it might not. you will never ever know if you don’t try. good luck to you and just be yourself. be yourself stay true to yourself and trust yourself.
have fun!
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February 2nd, 2012 at 5:44 am
I had social anxiety disorder a few years ago. The solution here is going towards your fears. You NEED to go. You need to start from somewhere. You probably kind of feel trapped when you think about your date, other than the things you listen you probably think, "I’ll be in crowd!" "I’ll make a fool of myself." I had the same fears.
Just…don’t take it seriously. You’re just gonna hang out with a guy. He apparently already likes you, and you sound funny, what you need to do is making fun of your own situation also. If anything goes wrong, be honest with him and tell him you’re nervous because you have social anxiety disorder and laugh. He’ll probably laugh too and think this is cute. (That’s what happened to me also. I went on a date with the guy I liked very much when I had social anxiety, and I DID make a fool of myself but it actually made him laugh and made him think I was funny and he liked me even more. Thank God, tee hee.) Most people, including myself, think being nervous is something cute.
Oh and also, pick the place you want to go. If you think that’ll make you feel more comfortable, somewhere close to your apartment. I myself prefer small, not crowded places. And when I was getting nervous, I offered him to take a walk (for some reason, I feel better when I’m walking)
Even if you feel sick, just go. You can tell him you’re sick if you get sick (you don’t necessarily need to tell him that’s because of your social anxiety disorder). Keep it fun and funny.
Good luck, girl.
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