I'd guess the erection difficulty is stress related.

I'd tackle the premature ejaculation first with stop/start or squeeze technique. He could use your help on that one.

If he's confident he can last, my guess is he'd have an easier time with the erections.

Have you too tried orally pleasing each other? If your husband knows you can both get off _regardless_ of what happens with his performance, that takes some pressure off.

Keep pushing for sexual activity, but try not to push for sex. Encourage him that although you'd like to move towards intercourse, you're very happy having other forms of sex with him.
References :

Therapy is as much work and effort on his part. Homework ..contemplation. He needs to come to terms with his problems and work on them constantly…not just during one 45 minute therapy session each week.

ANd as you know intercourse is just one form of initmacy. There are several other ways in which an orgasm can be derived…oral, digital stimulation..sex toys. Relaxation and intimacy being of course, the two starting components. You HAVE to have both to make a successful relationship…physically, sexually and emotionally.

The mind is a powerful thing. It controls all. What the penis does and doesn't do.

He just needs to work harder. His issues might be deep seeded Therapy is only as good as what he puts into it and extracts from it.
References :

A recently completed study conducted over 14 years found, not surprisingly, that men’s sexual functioning is greatly impacted by their cardiovascular health. Co-author of the study, Dr. Eric B. Rimm of the Harvard University School of Public Health in Boston found that of the 22,086 healthy men ages 40-75 who had participated in the Health Professionals Follow-up Study (HPFS) 17.7 percent of the men in his survey had developed Erectile Dysfunction (ED). Each of the men surveyed had previously reported good or very good erectile function with no major chronic diseases prior to beginning the HPFS in 1986.

The research showed that the primary reasons for the development of ED in the men surveyed had to do with two preventable risk factors: smoking and obesity. Lana Holstein, M.D., is a nationally known expert on sexuality and vitality issues and currently Managing Director of Medical Programs at Miraval Spa (www.holsteinandtaylor.com), says, “Smoking and obesity are damaging to the small blood vessels everywhere in the body. Because erection is a vascular phenomenon, the loss of erectile capability may actually be the first sign of generalized vascular disease throughout the body. Suffice it to say that being overweight and a smoker is not good for your health or your sex life!”

And it’s not just middle-aged men who need to be aware of this connection between risk factors and their sexual health. As. Dr. Holstein points out, “It is also important for younger men to be aware that repeated erectile difficulties may be a sign of vascular disease. If your erection is failing, remember it may be the plumbing and you may need to have it checked out physically!”

Part 2:

Generalized anxiety disorder is poison for men/women's sexual pleasure. . . . There are several reasons why this is so. They are all related to the GAD — men/woman's inability to control her own thoughts and to focus his/her positive energy toward his/her sexual self for a sustained period of time."

How much anxiety is too much? If you suspect that your husband might suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, complete the following self-test. Print out this page and circle "yes" or "no" next to each question, then show the results to your health care professional.

How can I tell if it's GAD?

Yes or No? Are you troubled by:

Yes No
Excessive worry, occurring more days than not, for a least six months?

Yes No
Unreasonable worry about a number of events or activities, such as work or school and/or health?

Yes No
The inability to control the worry?

Are you bothered by a least three of the following?

Yes No
Restlessness, feeling keyed-up or on edge?

Yes No
Being easily tired?

Yes No
Problems concentrating?

Yes No
Irritability?

Yes No
Muscle tension?

Yes No
Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, or restless and unsatisfying sleep?

Yes No
Does your anxiety interfere with your daily life?

Having more than one illness at the same time can make it difficult to diagnose and treat the different conditions. Illnesses that sometimes complicate anxiety disorders include depression and substance abuse. With this in mind, please take a minute to answer the following questions

Yes No
Have you experienced changes in sleeping or eating habits?

More days than not, do you feel:

Yes No
Sad or depressed?

Yes No
Disinterested in life?

Yes No
Worthless or guilty?

During the last year, has the use of alcohol or drugs:

Yes No
Resulted in your failure to fulfill responsibilities with work, school, or family?

Yes No
Placed you in a dangerous situation, such as driving a car under the influence?

Yes No
Gotten you arrested?

Yes No
Continued despite causing problems for you and/or your loved ones

Source: Anxiety Disorders Association of America.
Reference: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 1994.

If you or someone you know would like more information on generalized anxiety disorders, please consult Anxiety Disorders Association of America (adaa.org) for more information and resources in your area.

Sincerely,
SuperDave
References :

A note on size: Contrary to popular belief size really doesn't matter. Most (not all) of the nerve endings in the vagina are in the first 1 to 1 1/2 inches. Therefore, small can definitely still satisfy, so don't let that bother either one of you.

Enjoy one another, laugh, and love one another.
References :