Depression and anxiety getting worse,help?
ByI had my heart broken by sociopath who doesnt give damn about my feelings,i hate my dead end job but havent got motivation or confidence to change my life,i got no friends/social life,i feel very alone and isolated,i have small group of my family but i feel lost in life,i want to be happy and have kids,husband but i feel i’m livin in dream world,my relationships never last,and i’m suicidal,what do i do?
No one person is worth the pain you are living in now as a result of a ‘break-up’, things ended between you and him, and anything as a result of this should be left there - you’re too good to be bothered by anything small.
Your ‘dead-end’ job is the least you should be worried about in this list of problems, you can try searching for alternative employment for the meanwhile, even though you mentioned life changes require more motivation than you currently have, you are in the lucky position of being in employment, with today’s economic conditions, there are many left unemployed. While you may drone on with your ’standard’ job, you are at least making an income by working hard at what you do - you should be proud of this, there are far too many people holding their hands out nowadays. This should be what you pride yourself most in!
Friends come and go, sometimes very quickly, this is just a matter of getting out there and meeting people! I’m sure you have some loose ends laying around somewhere that you could possibly pick up? If not, why not try joining a night class or other social club nearby with similar interests as you? If you don’t have any, develop some, a hobby is a great way to beat repetition and depression!
After developing a social circle and/or network, the possibilities of finding a partner increases radically.
Don’t worry about too much into the future (kids etc), you will feel overwhelmed, anyone in your position would, this may be one of the problems of why you are in this situation, if you can, try to learn how to micromanage things, all small tasks can be broken into smaller, bitesize tasks.
Apart from the above, seek medication attention also, anti-depressants will surely help keep the essential chemicals in balance again, so long as you also do your part and keep yourself together.
Depression is the inability to construct a future, you CAN change this.
9 Comments
September 8th, 2010 at 8:57 pm
you need to visit the doctor. anti depressants will help you, believe me. i’ve been there, and i wa sthere for a very long time so i know how you feel. please see your doctor.
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September 8th, 2010 at 9:26 pm
You’re living in a loop! Break it and be free… Negative thoughts make one feel sad, feeling sad makes one feel depressed, feeling depressed makes one have negative thoughts…
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Start having positive thoughts.
September 8th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
go see you’re doctor and get some help - speak to your family about you feel, they should be able to give you some relief by just talking about the way you feel. You deserve to have a happy life so find the courage to deal with your issues and get some help. Please do it, you wont get answers and solutions straight away but if you start to address your problems you’ll be on the road to recovery x
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September 8th, 2010 at 10:31 pm
It sounds to me like you really need help, both in the form of medicine and councelling. I suffered post natal depression a few years ago and I simply refused to accept that I was suffering from depression until it got so bad that I couldn’t function anymore. please go and see your GP who will be able to help. don’t be scared of taking antidepressants-they help. Your GP will also be able to put you in touch with an NHS councellor who, in turn, may be able to suggest local support groups where you can meet new people.
Also, there may a local online forum where you can meet people in a group to go out walking or for a meal out etc.
It starts with a visit to your GP though, so please go.
Very best wishes, A
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September 8th, 2010 at 11:19 pm
I think you need to make yourself get a therapist, then go. I’ll give you some coping tips, after I give my rant on antidepressants.
Antidepressants function no better than a placebo in most patients, research shows. For each new drug, the drug companies would run a dozen studies to get two showing their drugs were a little better than placebo and submit those studies to the FDA. The other 10 studies wouldn’t get published, and they showed the drugs didn’t help depression or even made it worse. Besides that, if you are an adult, you should know that most antidepressants will destroy your sex life, and in rare cases, it can be permanent. Most people won’t stay on the drugs long term because of this side effect, but then many people discontinuing the drugs get severe withdrawal symptoms that are much worse than the original depression and/or anxiety.
People will jump up and down and swear that they do help – but the research shows that in the vast majority of cases, they either cycled out of their depression naturally, or responded to placebo effect.
Generic Practical Depression tips (PRINT THEM OUT):
Could a prescribed or over the counter medication be causing or worsening your depression? Many meds are culprits, including birth control pills, blood pressure, pain or even acne medicine, and also alcohol and illicit drugs.
Get your thyroid levels checked – hypothyroidism is a depression mimic. Also, could it be a sleep disorder like sleep apnea, or does the neighbor’s barking dog keep waking you up so you never get good sleep? Poor sleep can cause depression, it seems.
If your depression is worse in winter, get more light. You may have seasonal affective disorder (SAD) or your depression could be partly seasonal. Use a light box (10,000 Lux (light intensity) at about 20” - about $300 online, don’t get locally, they charge more, you don’t need full spectrum, it needs a UV filter, the Sunray is a good brand). I have extra windows, painted the walls peach & yellow & have a skylight. There’s a link to a cheaper lightbox at psycheducation.org. Also take 1000 to 2000 IU of Vitamin D in winter – if you live in the north, you are deficient in this vitamin & need the supplement anyhow, so you may as well see if it helps the depression.
Try meditation like progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery. See The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne for examples. Free 15 minute guided imagery download at healthjourneys.com.
Go out with friends, & if you don’t have any, join a club & MAKE yourself go until you look forward to it. “Isolating” makes depression worse!
Exercise 1/2 hour a day, & anytime you feel depressed. Exercise is a great mood stabilizer & reduces anxiety. LOTS OF RESEARCH SUPPORTS THIS.
Insomnia?: Go to bed & get up the same time each day, even weekends. Don’t use your bedroom to watch TV, read or use the computer. Don’t do stuff that revs you up before bed, like exercising & using the computer. Light from computer screens & TV wakes you up. Use that last hour to wind down-take a bath? Make the bedroom very dark, even cover up the alarm clock. Use a noise machine (makes wave sounds etc.) to cover up disturbing sounds. Avoid caffeine in afternoon & evening. Try soundsleeping.com for free relaxing sounds downloads.
Put colorful, happy things around the house. Do nice things for yourself. Make a list of things that make you happy, like: bread fresh from the oven, the scent of Jergen’s cherry almond lotion, the crisp sound of a saltine cracker breaking, fresh sheets on the bed, standing in the boat flicking topwater lures onto the water, etc. Use all your senses & read that list when you are breaking down
Work on time management if you are overwhelmed. Cut back on other responsibilities so you can spend more restorative time with friends & family. Ask for help if depression makes it hard to keep up with chores.
Spend more time with your pet, if you have one. Both of you will appreciate the time.
DON’T listen to sad music! It makes things worse! Listen to upbeat stuff- same with movies & novels.
DISTRACT yourself when you are hurting. Read a novel, watch a comedy, go out with friends, play cards or a video game, whatever is mentally all-consuming. This is VERY helpful in a crisis!!
Volunteer. Helping others makes you feel better about yourself. It also keeps you more involved in the community. Many people find comfort being involved in religion. Get help from your pastor. Some pastors from conservative faiths don’t “believe” in mental illness & tell you to just pray more – don’t go to such a pastor for “help.”
Put a half-smile on your face. Changing your expression is proven to help change mood.
If suicidal (not just “suicidal ideation,” but you are impulsive or have a plan), find a community hospital with inpatient behavioral health (yellow pages). Don’t call 911 unless you have already hurt yourself, because if it is just psych symptoms, the police come & they will take you to the closest place & that could be a horrible state hospital.
Cognitive Behavioral therapy is the most effective kind of counseling. Try free computerized CBT at moodgym.anu.edu.au. Computerized therapy appears to be almost as effective as counseling, research shows. If you have an abuse history, it is likely to be a major cause of your depression.
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I’ve had bipolar for 30 years and am often suicidal
September 9th, 2010 at 12:04 am
It sounds like you need to get help for your anxiety and depression before you can even begin to pick up the pieces of your broken life. Only then will you be strong enough to combat all of your problems. Schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist as soon as you can. They will evaluate you, give you a diagnosis, and come up with a treatment plan that will suit you. I think therapy would be useful to you at this point. A therapist can help you to put your life back together. Medication might also be beneficial for your depression and anxiety. That’s if you really feel you need them, and don’t mind taking them. I’m sorry for everything you’re having to deal with.
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September 9th, 2010 at 12:15 am
Hi Emerson, I am sorry you are going thru such a rough time lately. It seems to me that you are suffering from depression. How long have you been feeling this way? Have you seen a Dr. about it? If not, I would definitely suggest that you do so.Life can be so difficult sometimes and sometimes we just need some help. In the meantime make sure you have the nimbers for suicide prevention hot- lines. 1-800-273-TALK is one that I have heard good things about. A combination of medication and therapy can have you feeling like your old self again.Hang in there and reach out for help immediately if you feel suicidal. Hang in there, it will get better….
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September 9th, 2010 at 12:28 am
No one person is worth the pain you are living in now as a result of a ‘break-up’, things ended between you and him, and anything as a result of this should be left there - you’re too good to be bothered by anything small.
Your ‘dead-end’ job is the least you should be worried about in this list of problems, you can try searching for alternative employment for the meanwhile, even though you mentioned life changes require more motivation than you currently have, you are in the lucky position of being in employment, with today’s economic conditions, there are many left unemployed. While you may drone on with your ’standard’ job, you are at least making an income by working hard at what you do - you should be proud of this, there are far too many people holding their hands out nowadays. This should be what you pride yourself most in!
Friends come and go, sometimes very quickly, this is just a matter of getting out there and meeting people! I’m sure you have some loose ends laying around somewhere that you could possibly pick up? If not, why not try joining a night class or other social club nearby with similar interests as you? If you don’t have any, develop some, a hobby is a great way to beat repetition and depression!
After developing a social circle and/or network, the possibilities of finding a partner increases radically.
Don’t worry about too much into the future (kids etc), you will feel overwhelmed, anyone in your position would, this may be one of the problems of why you are in this situation, if you can, try to learn how to micromanage things, all small tasks can be broken into smaller, bitesize tasks.
Apart from the above, seek medication attention also, anti-depressants will surely help keep the essential chemicals in balance again, so long as you also do your part and keep yourself together.
Depression is the inability to construct a future, you CAN change this.
References :
September 9th, 2010 at 12:56 am
1st of all, maybe you think since they are parents they have a right to talk like that as parents. Turns out many parents are abusers. Actually they are not trying to be tough to make you responsible- they are tricking you. This goes for people at school as well.
Hurting people hurt others. It’s not you.. They are the ones who have a problem. People/parents do mean things or lie to control. They just want the reaction so they can get high feel good from it. You have to look at the agenda. Abuse is anything and words that are not uplifting. So forget what truth is being used right then. Remember -THEY actually get high on being mean, and thats why they do it, they are wrong about everything. The abuser is close-minded and self-righteous.
So the parent becomes abusive and the abuse makes children sick with so called mental Illnesses- painful but not a disease - includes all OCD, BP ETC.
Psychiatrists commit fraud in that there is zero science in what they do. They do not draw blood to test for imbalances. For chemical imbalances no test exists. There is no conception of what a correct chemical balance would look like to date. People in the FDA agree. I have links for this.
Remember, after abuse sickness can be a spiritual problem - Jesus name is needed to banish what is there.
God wants you to know truth, forgive, and get away from them. You sure feel better after reading the links.
Google- "Inside the Mind of an Abuser" -See how it works and be free…Google "self righteous"
I have many links and will talk with anyone contact me for help. Refusing to talk at all hurts abusers the most.
Source–Seeing people healed on a regular basis in a ministry- click my name to talk.
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