Could my daughter have separation anxiety? Please help.?
ByMy daughter is 4 and a half month old and I know its young but I’m starting to think she has separation anxiety.
Lately, whenever I put her in the car and start to drive she would scream and cry hysterically but as soon as she sees me again she would stop. This has just happened recently so I know there’s no issue with the car seat. Also the car seat is designed to be use as part of the pram and she is fine sitting in it but as long as she can see me.
Also, she would usually nap for around 2 hrs each nap, these days it only lasts for less than an hour and I know she’s still tired because she would be cranky easily. There’s no problem with her self settling because I don’t rock or feed her to sleep. She’s usually put down awake and falls asleep on her own.
At nights, she usually sleeps though but now she wakes up twice a night. I would feed her, burp then cuddle then put her back in her crib and she would fall asleep.
Sorry for the long question.. Do you think this is separation anxiety? or a growth spurt? She’s already went through her growth spurt at 3mths but I’m not sure if this is another one.
I just want to clarify that I hardly hold my daughter. At home, she happily plays on her bouncer or playmat and I go about doing my thing. When she hasn’t seen me for a few minutes she would whinge until she sees me again.
It is possible because she is now entering the phase of learning object permanence. That is learning that just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean it ceases to exist. Playing peek-a-boo from around a corner or behind something can help this along. This allows her to see you disappear and reappear in a fun way. Try also giving her something to latch on to like a blankie or stuffed animal to help her feel comfort. Play soothing music and talk to her in the car to help. Give her some playtime on a safe mat or in a child safe seat on her own with you nearby but not interacting for short periods. This helps her realize she is her own person and not just an extension of you. I know this can be frustrating at times, but realize this means she has been very loved and loves you very much. Just wait until she doesn’t want to be at your side constantly or, heaven forbid, be seen with you in public! LOL. This time will pass and with gentle teaching and loving support you both will get through this. Best wishes to you both!
4 Comments
March 31st, 2010 at 2:55 pm
yes. she is not too young for this.
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March 31st, 2010 at 3:15 pm
Seems like it to me, I’m sorry to say.
I use to have separation anxiety with my mother (Funny that she turned out to be the one to abandon me and my family when I was 11) and I had those same problems. From an early age I would scream when she would leave the house for 5 minutes.
It turns out that this was because she was always with me - holding me, bringing me to every place she went, etc. So if your doing this with your daughter, I’d suggest you stop (if possible) before it’s too late to fix the problem. Because right now she is at an age where it CAN be fixed. So, if possible, leave her with the father occasionally (if he is still around) or even with a family member. And, NEVER let her sleep in the same room as you. My mother and father did that and I’m embarrassed to even say how old I was when I stopped sleeping in the same bed as them.
The point is, this is all part of the problem. So if this is what’s happening, stop it before it’s too late!
Good luck!
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March 31st, 2010 at 3:46 pm
neither your daughter jsut like my son does not like cars, and don’t like riding in the back by themselves. try getting a mirror and putting it up where she can look at herself in it and i bet you this will work.
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mother of a 6 month old
March 31st, 2010 at 4:31 pm
It is possible because she is now entering the phase of learning object permanence. That is learning that just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean it ceases to exist. Playing peek-a-boo from around a corner or behind something can help this along. This allows her to see you disappear and reappear in a fun way. Try also giving her something to latch on to like a blankie or stuffed animal to help her feel comfort. Play soothing music and talk to her in the car to help. Give her some playtime on a safe mat or in a child safe seat on her own with you nearby but not interacting for short periods. This helps her realize she is her own person and not just an extension of you. I know this can be frustrating at times, but realize this means she has been very loved and loves you very much. Just wait until she doesn’t want to be at your side constantly or, heaven forbid, be seen with you in public! LOL. This time will pass and with gentle teaching and loving support you both will get through this. Best wishes to you both!
References :