Anxiety/Depression, help?!?

I honestly feel like I’m losing my mind and idk what else to do! So I’ve always had problems with anxiety since I was younger. (I’m 17 right now btw) But it used to be very mild, nothing too serious. Recently, (friday night) I actually got drunk and high at the same time. That did not end well. I had the worst freak out attack ever and basically just freaked out so bad that I actually told my mom I smoked. I would never have done that if I hadn’t been so scared. Anyway, the next day I started experiencing really weird panic attacks that I was going to kill myself even though I knew I wouldn’t and that I really didn’t want to. That really frightened me. But then I went bowling with my friends and I totally felt better. The next day I was with my boyfriend at my house and literally out of no where I began having intrusive thoughts that I wanted to harm my family. But I love my family and I have never been violent before ever! This really really scared me and I had a terrible panic attack. I tried to keep telling myself that I really didn’t wanna do that and that it was just my mind playing with me. After about an hour and a half of silent suffering, my boyfriend was able to calm me down. The next morning I was supposed to go to school but I literally wokeup having the same panic attack and the same thoughts. This scared me so bad that I begged my mom not to make me go to school, so I stayed home. All throughout that day, the thoughts wouldn’t go away and I began stressing out so badly that I started crying, I love my family and friends and my boyfriend so this is very overwhelming for me. I literally feel like I’m being possessed and theres something in my head telling me that I want to do these things even though I know I don’t! Before Friday night, I was totally fine. I just wish I could go back to before that night and not have drank or smoked. Idk if it had anything to do w it but I mean, everything was fine before then. I feel like I’m always depressed now, I never wanna get out of bed, and I have no appetite. I went to the doctors lastnight and she thinks I may have an anxiety disorder and that I need to see a psychiatrist. I also have OCD btw. Not sure if that has anything to do w it. But I’m starting to feel like I’m losing complete control and idk what to do. I’m so scared that I’ll never go back to my old life where I was happy and enjoyed everything I have. If I have to live with this everyday, idk what I’ll do because this is pure torture. Someone please help or give me some kind of advice! I’m desperate!
That’s good to know that I’m not the only one, but how do I get rid of it? I don’t wanna live the rest of my life with these horrific thoughts in my head ):

It’s your OCD. I have OCD too and started going through the same thing (intrusive thoughts). OCD isn’t all about checking, counting and cleaning; people with OCD can also get unwanted, inappropriate thoughts which cause anxiety and depression. These can turn into obsessions.

Common intrusive thoughts -> obsessions are:

Harm OCD; intrusive thoughts of harming oneself or others

Homosexual OCD; intrusive thoughts of being or becoming a homosexual

Pedo OCD; intrusive thoughts of being or becoming a pedo

Religious OCD; intrusive thoughts of blasphemous content

Disease OCD; intrusive thoughts of being or becoming diseased

These do not have to cause compulsions.

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